Song Games Series
by Horsey Spike
Summary: Spike plays a game. Angel can play it right back. Slash. Set during Season 1 of Angel: the Series. Complete.
1. The Package

Title: The Package 1/1  
  
Author: Horsey Spike  
  
Email: horseyspike@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. Everyone knows that. If they did belong to me, or any one of us, you'd know it. The song doesn't belong to me, but I'll put that at the end. Don't want to be giving away the song, do I?  
  
Distribution: SpikeNAngelFic archive, anyone else, ask.  
  
Spoilers: Up to when they find out that it's a chip in Spike's head.   
  
Summary: Angel gets a package, and it invokes memories of the past.  
  
Classification: Angel/Spike in the past.  
  
Author's Notes: Was listening to the radio, this song came on, couldn't help myself. Thinking of having a sequel. You tell me.  
  
Author's NOtes 2: On regards to UAWC, I can't find the disk with the story on it, so I'm having to look in the posts on Onelist, and as soon as I'm done, I'll start writing it again. I'm just lazy at the current moment.   
  
On to the story!  
  
_____________________________  
  
  
  
"Angel, this came for you." Cordelia handed Angel a package, when he emerged mid-afternoon, to the office. A small package, hardly enough to hold 3 decks of cards.   
  
"From who?" Angel asked, shaking it slightly, and holding it up to his ear. With the business he's in, one can never be too sure...  
  
"I don't know. No return address." Cordelia moved papers around on her desk. "If you ask me, it came from one of those crazy ladies, in thanks for such great services."  
  
"Ugh, not those." Angel remarked. He remembered the last time that happened. A lady he had saved from a multiple vamp/demon attack sent him a pack of condoms and a bottle of wine, intentions clearly obvious.  
  
Angel set the package down warily on Cordelia's desk, and said, "Where's Wesley?"  
  
"Book getting. You'd think we have enough books around here..." Cordelia got up and went for some coffee. "He was supposed to take me to lunch, but he obviously forgot." She paused, then raised an eyebrow at him. "You gonna open that?" She asked, motioning to the package.  
  
"You do it. I don't want to." Angel said.  
  
"What? Big, old Angel afraid of a little package?" Cordelia mocked, setting down her coffee and picking up the package.   
  
"No." Angel defended. Cordelia sent him a look. "I'm afraid of mortal women."  
  
"Boo!" Cordelia jumped at Angel. He gave way to fright, to humor her.   
  
Shaking his head and smiling, he nodded to the package. "Just open it."  
  
"Yes, sir." Cordelia picked up a pair of scissors and slice the tape on the side of the box. Pulling the sides apart, she let a cassette tape slid onto the desk.   
  
"Doesn't look scary." Angel said.   
  
"Wait 'til you hear what's on it." Cordelia said, pushing it gingerly with her perfectly manicured nail.   
  
"On it?" Angel asked, baffled.  
  
"Yes, on it." Cordelia spoke like she was talking to a small child. "It's a cassette tape. It usually plays music, but this could be something more icky."  
  
"How do I play it?"  
  
"Angel, are you really that technologically stupid?" Cordelia asked, exasperated. Then she saw his grin. "Ooh, vampires!"  
  
Angel then shifted his feet, and looked at her from under his lashes, "Do you have something I can play it on?"  
  
She gave him a withering look, then, "Lucky for you, I have my Walkman in my desk." She pulled open a drawer and handed him it with a pair of headphones.  
  
"Thanks." Angel said, heading downstairs to listen to the tape in peace. And so Cordelia couldn't mock him in his attempts to get the tape to play.   
  
Once he figured out that Side A faced out, and debated on how to wear the headphones, (He settled for the piece connecting the earpieces to be under his chin.) he pressed play, and started to listen to the recording.  
  
**If I fall along the way,  
Pick me up and dust me off.  
If I get too tired to make it,  
Be my breath so I can walk.**  
  
Angel was concentrating on the lyrics and the music, and trying to figure out who sent it too him.  
  
[That girl from the alley, what was her name, Alicia, that passed out.]  
  
Unwittingly, Angel's mind supplied him with an image of William, as Spike had been called then, lying on the side of the road, injured by the demon he had been fighting. Angelus had picked the fledge up, dusted him off, and took him home for some of his special care. It wasn't everyday a regular fledgling faced a demon, and survived. Angelus made William into his childe, elevating him above the rest of the minions.   
  
**If I need some of your love again,  
Give me more than I can stand.  
When my smile gets old and faded,  
Wait around, I'll smile again.**  
  
Again, William came to mind, as another part of Angel's brain tried to work out who sent this.   
  
This time, William was healthy, vibrant. Angelus had just confessed his love for the boy. That was when William had started to estrange himself from Angelus.   
  
Angel's sub-consciences was supplying him with images of a past time, past life, with William. The pain, the hurt of those times. Then the soul had come, and William was gone for all time.   
  
The next time Angelus had caught up with Spike, he was determined to hurt him for all the pain William had caused about 100 years ago.  
  
**Shouldn't be so complicated.  
Just hold me and then,  
Just hold me again.**  
  
Angel had given up on trying to figure out who sent the tape, and was reliving the past memories of William, and the years surrounding the time he had made William his Favored One. How Will had scorned in public, to the vampire world, that it was no big deal being made Angelus's Favorite Childe, but in private, he had been different, caring about this new status change, and loving being in the very center of his Sire's world.  
  
How many days did they lay together? How many nights were spent feeding and fucking and loving and just being with each other? How many?  
  
[Not enough.] Angel answered silently, wishing to be back there for one instant, to feel again the pleasure and the pain, and the happiness he had know as Angelus then.   
  
**Can you help me, I'm bent.  
I'm so scared that I'll never  
Get put back together.  
Keep breaking me in,  
And this is how we will live,  
With you and me bent.**  
  
Darla had scorned Angelus's affection for the young vampire, considering herself much more his equal. She dismissed William at every chance she had, so better to get alone with Angelus. Angelus was not pleased, but did not have a choice in the matter, since it was coming from his sire.   
  
When Darla had sent assassins out to kill the boy, Angelus had had enough, and asked permission from the higher ups, mainly the Master himself, to keep Darla and her plots away from his Favored Childe. Permission had been given, and Darla, a rage overtaking her, had spread rumors, then trying to disavow Angelus, her Favorite Childe.   
  
**If I couldn't sleep, could you sleep?  
Could you paint me better off?  
Could you sympathize with my needs?  
I know you think I need a lot.**  
  
The day after Dru's restoration ceremony, Angel couldn't sleep, the pain too great. He was connected to Spike in ways mortals couldn't understand, and being in such close proximity, he felt the pain of Spike being crushed under that organ. Then, when relief came, he couldn't fall asleep, fearing that it meant Spike had combusted in dust.   
  
When he saw that Spike was alive as he could be, albeit in a wheelchair, he couldn't help the feeling of relief, that was, unfortunately, quickly overcome with dread.   
  
Then the whole losing the soul debacle.  
  
**I started out clean, but I'm jaded.  
Just falling,   
Just breaking the skin.**  
  
Angelus had ruined any attempt at getting back together with Spike by stealing Dru's attentions away from him. Instead of being reunited with his favored childe, he was met with open hostility and anger. Angelus had over-compensated with more hostility and anger, thus creating a relentless cycle which only broke when Spike beat Angelus down with a crowbar.   
  
The emotional bond had been broken at that moment, the moment when Spike went against everything engrained in his being, to oppose his sire, whom he was supposed to be with for all time.   
  
**Can you help me, I'm bent.  
I'm so scared that I'll never  
Get put back together.  
Keep breaking me in,  
And this is how we will live,  
With you and me bent.**  
  
The last time Angel had spoken to Spike in Sunnydale, he had tried his best to protect him from the Slayer's sharp, pointy stick. He figured Spike wouldn't remember it in his drunken state, and had tried not to make it too terribly conspicuous.   
  
Angel had been reaching a turning point in his life, when he was deciding it was time to let go of Sunnydale, and move on, connecting to the important things, and moving ahead, where he couldn't bother the Slayer or her kin. His demon demanded to be reunited with William, the stint in Hell having put everything back in perspective, for not only Angel, but Angelus as well.   
  
Angel agreed with getting Spike back, but knew there was no possible way.   
  
**Start bending me,  
It's never enough.  
'Til I feel all your pieces.  
Start bending me,  
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in.**   
  
In LA, with Spike after the Gem of Amara, Angel had not really ever meant to stake Spike, just rough him up and send him on his way. But being in close touch of Spike once again, Angel had let his guard down, and ended up being chained to a ceiling.   
  
It was then, before the torture, Angel and Angelus had both realized that William was gone forever. In his place was Spike, cold, cruel, heart-less, on a quest. Angel knew that any reunion between the two was gone forever. He withstood the torture, with the knowledge it felt better then the realization he had just came too.  
  
**Shouldn't be so complicated,  
Just touch me and then,  
Just touch me again.**  
  
At Thanksgiving, Angel had sensed Spike nearby, and was surprised to see him tied up in a chair at the Watcher's apartment. He could feel the hunger pains running off Spike in waves, and wondered where it came from. Later, after Buffy had left LA, he called Giles and asked about Spike.   
  
He had been informed on Spike's incapability to bite, and that he was getting blood, in exchange for information. Chained in a bathtub had not been mentioned. Angel had asked for reports if something changed, and when they learned about the behavior modification device that had been implanted in Spike, Angel debated with himself about whisking Spike from Sunnydale and bringing him in LA.   
  
Reason had won over heart, saying that he didn't have room, nor need a live-in vampire room mate that might make his soul swim with the fishes. Angel settled for phone calls to check up on Spike.  
  
Giles had never questioned, but Angel had no doubts that he raised an eyebrow or two calling so often. Angel suspected he hadn't talked to Giles that much when he lived in Sunnydale.   
  
**Can you help me, I'm bent.  
I'm so scared that I'll never  
Get put back together.  
Keep breaking me in,  
And this is how we will live,  
With you and me bent.  
Without understanding,  
Hell, I'll go there again.**  
  
Angel wondered once more who could've sent the tape that invoked such memories of William and Spike and caused him to think about what he had so selfishly lost. Who knew them so well that they knew this song fit Angel's memories of him.   
  
[Not on purpose, Angel, nobody knows your relationship with him that well. Nobody, except...]  
  
Angel turned around as he heard the song nearing the end and saw Spike. Spike in all of his glory, smoking a cigarette, and leaning against the doorframe, watching him with that ever-cocky smirk.   
  
[He sent it!] Angel's brain crowed, a happiness filling him, that he immediately squashed. He did not need to be happy now. It would ruin it. Angel wondered what would happen next.  
  
**Can you help me, I'm bent.  
I'm so scared that I'll never  
Get put back together.  
Yeah, you're breaking me in,  
And this is how we will live,  
With you and me bent.**  



	2. The Gift

Title: The Gift 1/1  
  
Author: Horsey Spike  
  
E-mail: horseyspike@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, only the plot to which I place them in.  
  
Distributation: SpikeNAngelFic archive and anyone else I've given permission to. All else, ask.  
  
Summary: Sequel to 'The Package.' Spike and Angel hash out some things.   
  
Spoilers: Everything up to when they find out that it's a chip in Spike's head.   
  
Suggested: Read 'The Package' first. Or this ain't gonna make sense.   
  
Author's Notes: I couldn't find a song to fit the mood of this story, so no song. Though, do let me know if you think I should do I sequel.  
_______________  
  
"You got my package." Spike said. Obviously not a question.  
  
"Why?" Angel asked, finding his voice, after staring at Spike like he was an apparition. Not that it would stun the vampire much, but that's how he looked. Maybe like Spike was a figure from times long past.  
  
"Well, I wanted some time away from Sunnydale. And what better place to spend it then in LA, with my dear old sire." Spike got up from where he was leaning on the wall, and walked towards Angel. "This really is a nice place you've got here. Don't think I've told you. Better then some of the things you've lived in. Could use a bit more color."  
  
"That's the only reason you're here?" Angel hid disappointment. He thought maybe Spike came back to him. Maybe a reunion wasn't that far off.   
  
"And I wanted to give you that song. Fits our fucked up relationship almost perfectly, doesn't it?"   
  
"What relationship? We have a relationship?" Angel asked coolly, eyeing Spike, as he went to inspect the books.   
  
"You sound like Demon Girl. 'We have a relationship?'" He repeated in falsetto. "Of course we have a relationship. Might not be the kind you and Slutty had, but, hmm, things change." Spike left the books, and came to face Angel again. "Ours is pain. Emotional, physical. Makes no difference."   
  
"We had something more." Angel half-whispered.   
  
"Not we. It was me and Angelus. You're thinking of his memories."   
  
"Fine, Spike, it's his feelings I remember. Happy? You think you understand my feelings, just like you thought you understood Angelus's. You don't." Angel said abruptly, his hopes of getting together, even as friends with Spike, crushed again, by what Spike had said.   
  
"Explain, then." Spike looked up at Angel with uncharacteristic softness.   
  
"What did you really come here for Spike?" Angel said, ignoring his softly spoken request. "To torture me with the ideas of what I can't have, torment me with memories of Angelus, and the guilt I feel because of what he's done? Which one is it, Spike?"  
  
"The reason I came?" Spike said harshly, "The real reason I came is because you're my sire. And I'm in trouble. Since this seems like too big of a problem for you, I'll just leave." Spike turned around, and strode for the sewer exit.   
  
"Spike, wait." Angel said softly. Spike stopped, but didn't turn around. "I didn't mean to be so harsh."   
  
"Really?" Spike voice was rough, sarcasm evident. "Because from what I heard, you said exactly what you were thinking. And you meant it."   
  
"Let me explain." Angel said, hoping Spike would turn around. "Spike, please."   
  
Spike slowly turned around. Angel had never said please to him before.   
  
"Explain." He said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Because I sure as hell want to know what's going on. I come, not to hurt you, but for help, which is something I absolutely hate doing, and you turn me away. You better explain."  
  
Angel wanted to point out that Spike always came to him to do one of the things he mentioned, but bit his tongue. He didn't want Spike storming off, after he'd gotten him to turn around. He didn't want Spike leaving him again.   
  
Angel took a deep unneeded breath, and began. "Angelus is a big part of me. I am him. He is me. The soul is just an added thing. It controls the demon, and that's why Angelus isn't present. But I feel him, the demon, under the soul all the time. He tries to control little things, and do little evils, and it's like an internal battle between good and evil, housed in my body."  
  
Spike listened silently, without comment. For once.  
  
"Angelus, the demon, has feelings, just like the soul does. Albeit, slightly different, but he still has feelings. His feelings fuel me from time to time, and that is what, I think, allows me to be such a good fighter. The soul does the morals, and the demon supplies the power to fight. It works, most of the time."  
  
Spike asked with his eyes when it doesn't work.  
  
"It doesn't work around you. Angelus still loves you, Spike." Spike showed no emotion to this statement. "He wants to be re-united to his Favorite Childe. Around you, he is closer to the surface, fighting more with the soul. It becomes unbearable at times, and I come off as hostile."  
  
Spike snorted softly, as if saying 'Understatement.'  
  
"He wants you. He wants you to be his again. And his feelings have rubbed off on the soul."  
  
"What are you saying?" Spike asked, suspicion crossing his features.   
  
Angel took another deep breath. "I'm saying the soul loves you too."  
  
They stared at each other for a few long minutes, saying nothing, Spike weighing the words, and Angel wondering how Spike would react to his statement.  
  
"You know what?" Spike finally spoke. "I didn't come here for a heart-to-heart. How did it happen? I came here to be away from Sunnydale, inform you of my problem, and leave, no strings."  
  
"I didn't mean to make strings." Angel muttered. "Have enough of them already."  
  
"I'm leaving, before this gets too complicated. Maybe I'll stop in on some old mates before I leave LA." Spike headed for the sewer exit again.   
  
"Spike, don't leave. You said you had a problem?" Angel held back the bitterness that threatened to override his being, that Spike didn't even remark to his statement that he loved him, except to say he better be going.   
  
Before Spike could answer Angel, Cordelia came downstairs.   
  
"So, how's it going?" She asked, looking expectantly from one vampire to the other. "I didn't hear any sounds of a fight, so I figured it was okay to come down."  
  
"I'm leaving." Spike said. "Thanks for all your help, Cordelia." He crossed the room swiftly to give her a kiss on the cheek, then went back to the sewer exit and lifted the hatch.   
  
"Leaving?" Cordelia asked, confused. "Why?"  
  
Angel watched this, baffled. "What help? What's going on here?"   
  
"Princess'll explain. I'm gone." Spike dropped down the hatch and pulled it closed.   
  
Angel look expectantly at Cordelia, waiting for her to explain.   
  
"Don't look at me! Go after him!" She motioned to the hatch. Angel went.  
  
As soon as he hit the ground, he was pushed up against the wall by a blond vampire.  
  
"Listen here." Spike said sharply. "I love Angelus today as much as I loved him 100 years ago, despite what he did to me and Dru's relationship. The only reason I haven't staked Soul Boy is because he shares that body with you.  
  
"I've admired you Angel, been downright impressed at the balls you have. First dating a Slayer, then sleeping with her, and then leaving her. Not many would have the balls to do that.   
  
"I'm not going to deny I feel an attraction to you. Whether it's because your body is the same one as Angelus's, or because of the soul is yet to be decided. But I know how easily I can fall in love with you. And I'm not sticking around so that can happen."   
  
He let Angel go, and backed up, still staring in his eyes. "Tell Cordelia I'll come for my tape player in a couple days."   
  
With that, he ran off down the tunnel, away from Angel, away from Angel Investigations, and away from his and Angel's feelings.  



	3. The Long Day

Title: The Long Day  
  
Sequel to: The Gift  
  
Author: Horsey Spike  
  
E-mail: HorseySpike@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me. Joss and Co. owns them. Blah, blah, and blah. The part of the song is "long day" by Matchbox 20, on the "yourself or someone like you" album.  
  
Distribution: SpikeNAngelFic archive and anyone else I've given permission to. All else, ask.  
  
Spoilers: Previous stories in unnamed series, and everything up to where they know it's a behavior modification device in Spike's head.  
  
Summary. Follows The Gift. Angel has to figure something out.  
  
Author's Notes: I cannot think of a title for the series , and yes it has progressed to where I no longer have the original goal close in mind. So, if anyone can think of a series title, I'll be really, really grateful.  
  
Author's Notes 2: See if you can pick up on what Spike wants. The song part is a clue.  
  
Dedicated to: Donna, for her objection to the correction I made on The Gift. Things are changing, no worries.   
_______________  
  
Three days.   
  
Three days the tape player sat on Cordelia's desk, waiting for it's owner to pick it up.  
  
Three days of Angel waiting for the owner to come pick it up, watching Cordelia's desk.   
  
"Ya'know? I'm starting to worry about him." Cordelia confided in Wesley, as they watched Angel stare at the tape player from his office. "Maybe we should get him out of the office. Sent him on a case or something."  
  
"We don't have any cases." Wesley remarked, leaning against the railing. "Who's he waiting for, anyway?"  
  
"Loverboy." Cordelia said. "He left, Angel followed him into the sewers, and came back more broody then when he went in. Handed me the tape player, and locked himself in his room. He only comes out to eat and to come up here and stare at the tape player."  
  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Who knows why souled vampires do the things they do? Maybe he should go out, kill some demons in the sewers, visit the Oracles?"  
  
**  
  
Angel had been watching the tape player for three days, waiting for the blond vampire to come and pick it up. Three days he spent contemplating what Spike said, and wondering if he was really coming back to get it.   
  
Spike could be long gone from LA, heading to Sunnydale, or somewhere else, so Angel couldn't find him. Though Angel doubted Spike would leave Sunnydale until he got the implant in his head removed. Angel wondered if that was the problem Spike came to tell him about.   
  
Spike had admitted something to him in the tunnels that Angel suspected he's kept hidden inside himself, maybe from himself, since the first time the souled version of Angelus met him on Parent-Teacher Night. Was that why Spike kept trying to kill his sire, though it went against the lore? Was he afraid to get to close to this souled, what he saw as fake, version of his sire, and realize that Angelus was gone forever? What kept Spike from coming to Angel? Was it the fear of his feelings, or the fear of getting dusted?   
  
Angel discounted the last one. Spike wouldn't have had to balls to tie him up and torture him if he was afraid for his life. Spike was never afraid for his life. He lived it to the fullest and never hesitated to take chances.   
  
Angel wondered where was the strength to tell him that he could fall in love with Angel, the one with the soul. Was it Angel's confession that the soul and the demon loved Spike? Was it the forced loneliness that the implant placed him in? Was it the..  
  
..bleached blond, blue-eyed vampire who was walking through his front office door?  
  
Angel watched, stunned, as Spike looked cautiously around the office, focusing for a second on Angel, before turning to Cordelia. He could hear Spike's voice through the window he was looking through.  
  
"Thanks for all your help, ducks. Couldn't have done it without you." He gave a small smile to Cordelia. "I expected a different reaction from him, but this tells me what's going to happen."  
  
[How the hell does he know what's going to happen? He have a crystal ball that tells him the future?]  
  
"Well, you know our broody vampire." Cordelia said, giving a pointed glance in Angel's direction.  
  
"Unfortunately." Spike said curtly. "Now, I've got to be going. Giles's says there's trouble brewing, and since I like this world, I'll be helping to keep it turning. Many thanks, though it didn't work quite as planned."  
  
"We'll try again." Cordelia said, giving him a genuine smile. "You never know. He might get the point." She waved to him as he moved to leave the office.   
  
"Spike, wait." Angel said, as he came out of his office, broken out of his amazement that Spike had came. But Spike was already gone, running with a large overcoat over his head.   
  
Angel sighed and fell back against the doorframe, upset he had let him slip through his fingers once again. He rubbed a hand over his eyes and thought about the conversation he had just heard.  
  
He felt as though it was a staged conversation, and he was supposed to get something from it, that something was supposed to have been made clearer. All Angel knew from listening is that Spike expected a different reaction from him.   
  
But Spike had been the one to run off. He hadn't given Angel much time to react. How could he have wanted a different one?  
  
"Cordelia, what's going on?" Wesley asked, looking curiously at her. "If I'm not mistaken, that was William the Bloody."  
  
"So?" Cordelia asked, shuffling through some papers.   
  
"And you talk to him like he's a friend of yours?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
Angel raised an eyebrow. When did Cordelia and Spike get to be such good friends?  
  
"Cordelia, what is going on?" Angel asked, slightly confused and exasperated at the whole deal. He just wanted Spike back, was that too much to ask?   
  
"I'm not telling." Cordelia told him.  
  
"Then how am I going to find out what's going on?" Angel was in disbelief. To say the least.  
  
"You're a semi-detective. Figure it out." Cordelia picked up her bag, and headed for the door. "I'm outta here. Audition. You know how it is."   
  
And she was gone.  
  
"Do you know what's going on?" Angel asked Wesley.  
  
"I have an idea. And Cordelia's right. You need to figure it out on your own."   
  
Angel sighed in confusion, and left his employee who was muttering, "William the Bloody." under his breath, over and over.   
  
Angel went back downstairs, and sank down onto his couch. It had been a long day. He closed his eyes and tried to work everything through his head. Spike was friends with Cordelia. He wanted Angel to pick up on something Angel had no clue of what it was. And Wesley thought he had an idea of what was happening when he hadn't even known Cordelia and Spike were friends. Okay, a very long day indeed.  
  
Angel opened his eyes, and sitting before him was the tape player Spike had taken from the top of Cordelia's desk. Angel went over and picked it up, and looking around, put the headphones to his ears, pressed play, wondering what Spike had sent him this time. Of what memories it was going to induce.   
  
He heard only a short part of a song.   
  
**I'm sorry 'bout the attitude  
I need to give when I'm with you  
but no one else would take this shit from me  
and I'm so   
terrified of no one else but me  
I'm here all the time  
I won't go away  
it's me, yeah, I can't get myself to go away  
it's me, and I can't get myself to go away**  



	4. Exactly Like Planned

Title: Exactly Like Planned (1/1)  
  
Sequel to: The Long Day  
  
Author: Horsey Spike  
  
E-mail: HorseySpike@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me. Joss and Co. owns them. Blah, blah, and blah.   
  
Distribution: SpikeNAngelFic archive and anyone else I've given permission to. All else, ask.  
  
Spoilers: Previous stories in the unnamed series, and everything up to where they know it's a behavior modification device in Spike's head.  
  
Summary: Follows "The Long Day." Angel turns the tables  
  
Author's Notes: I cannot think of a title for the series. So, if   
anyone can think of a series title, I'll be really, really grateful.  
__________________________  
  
  
Angel spent the rest of the day studying the lyrics. And he spent the rest of the day listening to the whole song, which Cordelia pulled up for him on the Internet.   
  
Amazing thing, really, Angel mused.  
  
Having heard the whole song, Angel disregarded everything except the part Spike had given him.   
  
Part of Angel was sick of the song game Spike was playing, and another part was joyful, that Spike would even venture into his presence, so close.   
  
Angel sat in his apartment, the office closed for the day, no outstanding cases he had to look over, and was listening to the tape Spike had given him for the umpteenth time. He thought if he stayed in the apartment, Spike would be more likely to come to him.   
  
A thought entered Angel's head.   
  
If Spike was going to play with him, what was stopping Angel in playing with Spike?  
  
Racking his brain for the song he had heard on the radio sometime earlier, Angel went upstairs, and turned on Cordelia's computer. Logging onto the website that had provided the other song in it's entirety, Angel found the song he was thinking of.   
  
Maneuvering quickly though the stereo equipment Cordelia had brought in, (He got the hang of that more quickly then the cell phone...) he got the from the computer, and onto the tape, like Cordelia showed him.   
  
Smiling at the newly recorded on tape, he stuck it back in the tape player, and went downstairs. He set it on the table where he had found it earlier in the day, and went about cleaning some weapons of slime from a battle the previous day that hadn't been cleaned yet.   
  
Not much time past before he could hear someone moving around in the upper offices, then coming down the stairs. Angel smiled to himself, but quickly smothered it. Stoic mask was needed for this to work.  
  
"Spike." He said, coming out of the shadows, towards Spike creeping down the stairs.  
  
Spike jumped almost a foot in the air. "Bloody hell, Angelus! What are you trying to do, resurrect me?"  
  
Angel merely smirked. "I got your message."   
  
"Lovely." Spike shoved his hands into his pockets. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like my tape player."  
  
Angel motioned with his eyes towards the table with the player on it.   
  
Spike started to walk over to it.  
  
"But," Angel called out to him. "I was hoping we could talk first."  
  
Spike turned slowly around. "What do you want to talk about? You want to talk about how you ripped my heart out saying you loved me? I can't deal with this Angel. I just want my tape player, and I want to go."  
  
"How about talking about what happened in the sewers."   
  
"I don't come here for this." Spike told Angel. "I don't come here to talk. I came here to get my tape player, and as soon as it's in my possession, I'm gone. Simple."   
  
"How about the apocalypse threat?"  
  
"Taken care so before I even got back to Sunnyhell. Then I came back for my tape player, which I want now, and if you keep talking to me, I'll never get back in time to shag the little witch."  
  
"You stay away from Willow." Angel growled, low, not knowing if in protection for Willow, or jealousy. Most likely jealousy.   
  
"I'm just saying that to get you knickers in a bunch. It's not that witch I'm shagging. Now, I'm leaving. With my tape player." He finished the walk over to the table, grabbed it, and shoved it in his pocket. he went over to the sewer access and pulled the hatch up.   
  
"How about the fact that you don't want to admit you return my love." Angel called out to him, just before he dropped down the tunnel.  
  
"I don't have admit anything because I don't love you." Spike left the sewer hatch open and strode angrily to Angel. "I don't love you, or anything you do. I hate you. You must have yourself confused with Angelus again." He poked Angel once in the chest for emphasis.  
  
Spike scowled one more time at Angel, then jumped down the sewer exit, not bothering to pull it shut behind him.   
  
Angel let another smirk cross his lips. He had seen Spike check to make sure he had the player right before he jumped.   
  
Things having gone exactly like Angel hoped, he turned away, figuring out how long it would take for Spike to figure out there was a new song in the tape player, and listen to it.   
  
Then, to follow him.   
  
Things were exactly like planned. 


	5. Nothing Else Matters

Title: Nothing Else Matters (1/1)  
  
Sequel to: Exactly Like Planned  
  
Series: Song Games (5th and last in series)  
  
Author: Horsey Spike  
  
E-mail: HorseySpike@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me. Joss and Co. owns them. Blah, blah, and blah. The song, "Nothing Else Matters" is by Metallica, off the Black album, is what it's called. I think.  
  
Distribution: SpikeNAngelFic archive and anyone else I've given permission to. All else, ask.  
  
Spoilers: Previous stories in the Song Games series, and everything up to where they know it's a behavior modification device in Spike's head.  
  
Summary: Follows "Exactly Like Planned." Spike listens to Angel's song.  
  
Author's Notes: came up with a title for the series, if you didn't notice. It's now called Song Games.  
  
Dedicated: to everyone who sent me feedback on The Untouchable. It was a fun story to write, and I'm glad you liked it. I don't think I tell you guys enough how good it feels to see that someone reads and likes your stories and I don't think I need to tell you I love getting some, and even if I don't write back to you, due to lack of time, I get it, and love you for it. Okay, enough of the mushy.  
  
____________________________________  
  
"I don't have admit anything because I don't love you." Spike left the sewer hatch open and strode angrily to Angel. "I don't love you, or anything you do. I hate you. You must have yourself confused with Angelus again." He poked Angel once in the chest for emphasis.  
  
Spike scowled at Angel, then dropped down into the sewers, his boots landing with a splash.  
  
"Bloody hell." He cursed under his breath, as sewer muck got on her. "I hate sewers." Then he took off running, before his sire got the bright idea to follow him.  
  
The last couple days, Spike had been staying in LA. One dank crypt, is like another dank crypt.  
  
But he had found a warehouse to sleep in, cool, clean, no annoying humans. Spike was happier there then he'd been in awhile. Then, some of the vampires living in LA had come in and said that it was their warehouse. Spike was forced to kill them all. Except the leader. That one stayed alive for awhile, while Spike showed him just why he shouldn't have messed with Spike.  
  
With lots of spikes. And an occasional holy object or too.   
  
Alright, he used blessed railroad spikes. But he wore gloves, so no pain came to him.   
  
Entertainment of the torture variety running low, Spike had turned to booze.   
  
He had left Sunnydale in the first place because he was mad about the chip in his head, and needed a break from running into the Scoobies at every turn of the corner. But he had forgotten something.  
  
Angel lived in LA.   
  
When Spike heard a slime demon was in the neighborhood, he had went to kill it, only to run into Angel, already kicking the shit out of it. Hidden in the shadows, Spike watched as his sire got hit hard on the side of the head. He winced when the demon's claws cut Angel's abdomen. He almost cheered when the demon was dead.  
  
Then he caught himself. What was he doing, cheering for the white hats? He's the Big Bad! Must be hanging out with the Slayer and cronies that did it.   
  
But he followed Angel home to make sure he got there okay.  
  
From then on, Spike had decided to go out and hunt demons, making his sire's job easier. Because Angel doesn't have any fun doing it, he reasoned with himself, and they're the only thing I can kill.   
  
Sure, Spike.   
  
Spike even acquired an apartment not far from Angel Investigations. He found a dead guy in the alley, and stole his keys, wallet, the usual. So, Spike moved in, planning on staying in LA for longer then the one week he had originally planned on.   
  
Then he heard that song on the radio, the one he first gave Angel, and it struck a chord deep inside him. It reminded him of all the past times he'd had with Angelus. Of what they had felt for each other.  
  
So Spike went to Cordelia. Since she knew of the chip, she was not afraid, and agreed to help him give the song to Angel. Spike left his (okay, the guy's from the apartment) tape player with her, and knew she would do just find getting the tape to him.   
  
Then he had showed up, wanting to know what Angel thought of the song. And with the look in his eyes, Spike knew that it had affected Angel the same way it had affected him.   
  
But he had never expected the confession of love from Angel. That was not in the rulebook, nor the plan. And the thing in the sewers, Spike let's not even go there. Spike had spilled some emotions deep in his heart, and had planned to leave after that, fully hulmilated again.   
  
But he stayed. And listening to the guy's cd's that were in the apartment, he came across another song part that would be perfect for Angel.   
  
So, he went back to the office, had that conversation with Cordelia, which actually was fueled from the emotions that if Angel loved him, why didn't he come after him, and Spike grabbed his tape player. He ran from the offices to the back entrance to Angel's apartment, and left the tape player sitting somewhere he knew Angel would see it, new tape inside.   
  
Call it an apology, if you want to.  
  
When Spike had come back the third time, it was only to get the tape player. He was expecting Angel to be up in the offices, or out on a case. Not sitting, waiting for him. The resulting talk hadn't been what he wanted either. Get tape player, get out. That was it. But no, Soul Boy always had to stir something up.   
  
And so he was, running through the sewers, desperate to get away from Angel and to the relative safety of his stolen apartment.   
  
He got in and locked the door, then checking his duster pockets for the tape player. He pulled it out and looked at it. Through the clear part, he noticed the tape inside was the one he gave Angel.  
  
{So, he doesn't even want to keep the tape, is that how it is? Was he lying to me?}  
  
What Spike had said in the sewers was so very true. He knew how easy it would be to fall in love with Angel, especially since the one in LA was less like the souled one Spike first met Sunnydale, and was more like the Angelus of over one hundred years ago.  
  
Spike sneered at his thoughts, and walking over to the massive stereo equipment this guy had had, popped the tape out of the portable player, and stuck it in the big player. He had a desire to be melancholy, listening to the song he had give his sire.   
  
But instead of the lyrics Spike had been expecting, a instrumental piece came out.  
  
"I'll be damned." Spike whispered to himself, as he recognized the song. "He is into the 20th century more then I thought."  
  
-So close no matter how far,   
Couldn't be much more from the heart.  
Forever trusting who we are,   
And nothing else matters.-   
  
It was them. Forever bounded together, no matter where they lived. Forever living as a demon, and knowing the fact to always be true. Spike remembered the night he had been turned. A beautiful and exotic brunette walked up to him, and he offered to guide her home, because the streets weren't safe at night. She agreed, and the next he knew, her teeth were in his neck, then he was drinking her blood.   
  
The brunette had been Drusilla, and she left there in the alley. When he was found, dead, someone carted him off, and buried him in a pauper's grave. He had awakened, and instinctively gone to his mistress. She had ignored him, for more favorable pets, until the day he had been attacked by a demon, and fought him off. That was when Angelus first starting paying him attention.  
  
-Never opened myself this way.  
Life is ours, we live it our way.  
All these words I don't just say,  
And nothing else matters.-  
  
Life was theirs back then. Always having the cream of the crop, attending parties where mortals dressed up like peacocks, bedding the most beautiful one, or most handsome one, before brutally killing them.   
  
Spike smiled at the memories. Those were the favorite times in his unnaturally long life. Until the day Darla had shown up unannounced, and swept Angelus off from under William's and Dru's noses. And he had never returned.   
  
Spike had automatically suspected that Darla had staked Angelus, since she couldn't lay a finger on himself. He went straight to the Master with his questions, but the Master said that Angelus was still alive, but changed. Drusilla had also confirmed that with a vision she had one day.   
  
But Spike couldn't stop worrying.  
  
-Trust I seek and I find in you.  
Every day for us something new.  
Open mind for a different view,  
And nothing else matters.-  
  
William had been Angelus's most trusted advisor. They had planned together, destroyed together. Spike had enjoyed that. Being an almost equal to the Scourge of Europe had it's advantages.   
  
Then Angelus had announced William was his favorite. Favorite *childe*.  
  
Hopes of being an equal vanished in William's mind. He was a childe, and would always be a childe. Though he did enjoy all the time he got to spend with Angelus, it wasn't compared to being thought of as an equal, which was what he truly wanted. To be an equal to such a magnificent being. But now, he was forever a childe.   
  
It had been fun, Spike would admit that, the killing, and the blood, and the sex. That was one of the best parts. The relationship didn't really change. They still did the same things that they had done before, but things had changed in William's mind.   
  
And he was disappointed.   
  
-Never cared for what they do,   
Never cared for what they know,   
But I know.-   
  
Spike heard the crack of the lock on the door behind him. It could only be one person, for he was the only one who could track him, and bother with breaking in the door.  
  
Spike refused to turn around, not with all these swirling emotions on top. Angel came into the apartment, but stopped several yards away from Spike. He waited.  
  
Spike closed his eyes, and tried to rein in all the emotions he was feeling. No good for Angel to read his face.   
  
-So close no matter how far,   
Couldn't be much more from the heart.   
Forever trusting who we are,   
And nothing else matters.-  
  
"Spike." Angel softly called, after Spike failed to turn around. Spike gave no indication of having heard Angel.   
  
"Spike?" Angel tried again, walking forwards, planning on placing his hands on Spike's shoulders. He stopped a hairsbreadth from touching Spike, feeling the electricity between them. Angel closed his eyes, and sucked in a breath.  
  
Spike almost turned when he heard Angel breathe, feeling how close together they were.   
  
-Never cared for what they do,   
Never cared for what they know,   
But I know.-   
  
"Sire?" Spike questioned, right before he turned around and faced Angel. They were a little less then a foot apart.   
  
"I get it." Angel said softly, lowering his hands to his sides. "I get it now."  
  
Spike smiled softly. "Knew you would. You were always the smart one."  
  
-Never opened myself this way.   
Life is ours, we live it our way.   
All these words I don't just say.-  
  
"I never meant to tell you that." Angel admitted.  
  
"I never did either." Spike said, both thinking of their respective confessions the first day.   
  
"The games we play." Angel gave Spike a wry smirk.  
  
"The games." Spike agreed. "But I don't want to play games anymore."  
  
"I want the real thing." Angel finished for him, the truth for both of them shining in their eyes.   
  
-Trust I seek and I find in you.   
Every day for us something new.   
Open mind for a different view,   
And nothing else matters-   
  
"But the curse, and the Slayer." Spike said, almost kicking himself if this would break the moment.   
  
"Buffy doesn't need to know, nor is the curse a problem anymore." Angel softly said, brushing a hair that had come loose from Spike's running away from Spike's forehead.   
  
"Oh." Was all Spike could say, closing his eyes with the pleasure of Angel touching him. When he opened his eyes, Angel was watching him with his dark, soul-filled eyes, seeming to want something.   
  
Angel bent his head, intent on touching his lips to Spike's. Spike didn't realize he lifted his head to Angel's kiss.   
  
A hundred years of pain and estrangement disappeared in the action, both lost in the pleasure of kissing the other, of remembering the times they their lips had meant before.   
  
Angel hand entwined itself with Spike's hair, as Spike's hands made their way to Angel's waist, pulling himself closer to Angel, desperate to have more of this man.  
  
-Never cared for what they say,   
Never cared for games they play,   
Never cared for what they do,   
Never cared for what they know,   
And I know.-  
  
Angel broke away, nothing in their position changing, except their lips weren't touching anymore. Angel out his chin down on the top Spike's head, breathing hard, while Spike buried his head into the crook of Angel shoulder.   
  
Angel smiled slightly, putting his other arm around Spike, pulling him closer.   
  
-So close no matter how far,   
Couldn't be much more from the heart.   
Forever trusting who we are,-  
  
Angel sung the last line along with the music, "No, nothing else matters."   
  
Spike looked back up at Angel, question in his eyes, Angel smiled at him, did away with his question, and bent his head again for another kiss of many to come.   
  
*END* 


End file.
